So That Was The Noughties...

I WRITE this in the centre of Brisbane, only a few hundred metres from Victoria Bridge where I counted in the year 2000. I can remember ringing in the new millennium surrounded by thousands of other revellers, yet still being by myself as predictions of mass chaos from Y2K went the way of other doomsday theories.
The whole thing has a nice symmetry to it: beginning and finishing my first decade as an adult in roughly the same place, although midnight will be spent up in the Valley rather than the City.
To say though that Brisbane's been where it's at the last ten years would be misleading.
For us Australians, the year 2000 brought the unforgettable Sydney Olympics. Even though I didn't make it to any Olympic events - Olympic soccer matches were here in Brisbane - I can safely say it changed my life. One afternoon I was due to attend a third-year chemistry lab class, but decided against it in favour of watching Bruce McAvaney crap on about Australia's equestrian gold medal for about the fifth time that day.
It was around that time that Mum's$%&^#@& of an ex-husband made possibly the only constructive comment of the decade. I'd shown Mum a letter I'd had published to the Cricinfo newsletter, whereupon he suggested that if I liked sport so much then why not become a sports journalist? This prompted an online search for university courses (I was studying Information Technology and Science at the time), and in February 2001 I moved interstate down to Canberra - although not before a summer spent in great company carving up the Criterion in Brisbane!!!
Life in Canberra was interesting. When I moved I wasn't interested in fashion, looking good, or evolving much beyond bogan. Blaise and Cagey, two older friends doing the same course, helped me start moving forward and come out of my shell a lot more.
Work and living in Canberra could be tough. I was kicked out of one place in 2003 around the same time as the radio station I worked at, SSS FM, closed down; add to this a relationship that never really got off the ground, my car breaking down for good and crashing Cagey's car - it wasn't the greatest time of my life!
Later that year I sent my resume to one of the journalism lecturers after he asked if any was interested in working for the Cooma-Monaro Express. Despite my flippant reply (yeah, I'll chuck my name forward), I was employed as a cadet journalist. My first full-time job lasted two years - which was a lot longer than some may have felt it would.
Cooma was good insofar as getting a city boy into a different environment. While down there I tried to involve myself in as much sport as possible, getting to know many people quicker than what I might have earlier in the decade.
One such person was young Jason, who told me of his plans to travel Europe with a company called Busabout in 2005. I'd never heard of this mob before; after looking into it I couldn't wait to travel with them. Eventually Jason, Cat and myself spent two enjoyable months travelling Europe, catching Running of the Bulls in Pamplona and meeting some amazing people that I still keep in contact with today.
Travelling Busabout with Jason was probably the best thing I did. At the time my self-confidence wasn't the greatest - it took travelling with an extrovert to realise that people are - for the most part - friendly. Jason would get people into our social group whereupon I could actually talk to them! Watching the guides do their thing made me realise that I had the skills to do the same; after a lifetime of moving around sitting up the front of a big blue coach talking on a microphone seemed like a dream job to me!
As such I applied to Busabout in October 2005, flying over to the UK for a week for the interviews. Upon arrival I had the quinella - a lost contact lens the morning of the interviews, combined with the late announcement that the individual interviews would be done after I was due to fly back to Australia! Fortunately we did this one over the phone, after which I was accepted to the training trip.
Busabout has since dominated my life. Working for six months in the European summer, I've been lucky enough to take people around France, Belgium, Netherlands, Germany, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy, Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, Croatia, Greece - and even Liechtenstein! I also did some work for Contiki in London and Paris, and for Eastern Trekker in Czech Republic, Poland, Slovakia, Hungary, Croatia, Slovenia and Austria. Busabout also gave me the chance to head up to Lapland in northern Finland - one of the most enjoyable tours I've been on! Having people come up to you randomly and say they enjoyed your work was amazing; the response I got from people when I announced I'd finished working for Busabout blew me away!
In between seasons I've worked in a five-star hotel and offices in London; travelled the USA, South Africa, Dubai, Sri Lanka, Singapore and Malaysia; and even celebrated Anzac Day with other ex-pats in Toronto.
Throughout I've met some awesome people, both crew and paying punters from around the world. I've been honoured by being best man at Mark and Kara's wedding, two friends from the start of the decade that are first on my list of friends I see back here in Brisbane, and in whose company I'll see in the new decade tonight.
All in all the Noughties have been one hell of a decade! I guess despite my life's twists and turns since the start of 2000, it's nice to wind the decade back up where it started.
Here's to the next 10 years!!!

2009 – The Official Soundtrack (so says I)

1. The Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody
Mama… Mama? Mama… Mama. Mama… yoohoo?!?
Just after I arrived back home in late November I caught the end of Channel 9’s The Today Show – something most people generally don’t admit… This was something worthwhile though, as they showed part of a clip taking the Internet by storm. One quick trip to YouTube and a link on my Facebook later and most people were fans as well…

2. Elvis Presley Suspicious Minds
We’re caught in a trap; I can’t walk out; because I love you too much baby…
Rewind to late August/early September and my last Eastern Trekker tour, where for some reason this was a favourite of a couple of people on tour (not looking at anyone in particular, but you people across the ditch know who you are…) One of the unofficial theme songs for the tour.

3. Flight of the Conchords It’s Business Time
You know when I’m down to just my socks what time it is… oh yeah, it’s Business Time…
A song guaranteed to get the punters laughing. On my second Eastern Trekker tour there were two couples sharing a four-bed dorm in Krakow. Legend has it that when one couple went to go on an afternoon bike tour, the other couple (or the other girlfriend to be precise) was busy sorting out clothes when the boyfriend locked the door and started dancing around, singing “it’s business, it’s business time”… Naturally they were talking about the imminent opening of Wall Street for the week… I think?

4. Black Eyed Peas Boom Boom Pow
I’m so 3008; You’re so 2000 and late; I got that boom boom boom; That future boom boom boom…
One of Greece’s overplayed songs for 2009… When heading out to just about any bar in the Greek Islands you were just about guaranteed to hear this, Katy Perry’s Hot and Cold, or anything by that wildly overplayed and overrated Lady GaGa… which brings me to:

5. Lady GaGa Paparazzi
I’m your biggest fan; I’ll follow you until you love me; Papa-paparazzi…
Picture this if you will: it’s early September and a coach full of travellers pulls up at a campsite near the Plitvice National Park in Croatia. Tour guide steps off the coach to go get the keys. Everyone on the coach is aware this far into the tour that said tour guide doesn’t really like Lady GaGa or getting his photo taken. Tour guide gets keys and jumps back onboard coach to find Paparazzi blaring through the speakers, but grits his teeth doesn’t mention it. Someone gets the tour guide’s attention, who turns around to find 39 cameras all pointed at him, going off like nothing else! Well played guys, you got me…

6. Weezer Island In The Sun
On an island in the sun; We’ll be playing and having fun; And it makes me feel so fine I can’t control my brain…
Spend two months travelling around the Greek Islands and tell me if the words aren’t incredibly apt…

7. Eric Prydz Pjanoo

Techno track with no words on this list? Yeah, sure, why not? Having the piano as the main instrument helps…

8. Split Enz History Never Repeats
History never repeats; I tell myself before I go to sleep; Don’t say the words you might regret; I lost before, you know I can’t forget…
Like hell history never repeats!!! I started the touring seasons in 2006 and 2009 on training trips that seemed to drag on a bit; had the highest of highs mixed with the lowest of lows; and made some very close friends. The major difference comes down to being four years older – and hopefully four years wiser!

9. Kings Of Leon Use Somebody
You know that I could use somebody; Someone like you…
In 2006 I tended to disappoint the boss but please the punters; for 2009 it was, for the most part, the reverse. The month of August 2009 is one I would rather forget. It began with the quinella of bed bugs and an overbooked tour that some felt I handled “appallingly”; next up was my first Croatia Sailing tour where half the punters were drunken idiots I had to speak too like naughty schoolchildren every second day. The third week was very enjoyable, cruising back up from Dubrovnik to Split, before the absolute worst tour I’d ever taken. Many on the tour were unhappy I had taken over from another guide in Split at the last minute (some were doing back-to-back tours), while a conscious decision on my behalf to try and calm down a bit backfired for not being as enthusiastic as others. I had thought the tour was going ok, only to read the feedback forms handed to the driver and discover what many had really thought of me. Four days later I got a phone call asking about the feedback from that tour; later that afternoon I got another phone call and found that a friend had died. To this day I am forever grateful that the crew on the next tour were simply awesome, with an old mate behind the wheel to keep me level; not to mention another friend who was a good shoulder to lean on and whose random texts always seemed to come at the right time.

10. Bonnie Tyler Total Eclipse Of The Heart
And I need you now tonight; and I need you more than ever; And if you only hold me tight; We’ll be holding on forever…
Picture this: you’re on a coach heading into Split, Croatia. It’s nearly the end of the tour that kept me in the game for 2009, and this starts up. Cue me and Owen starting up with the first couple of lines, soon to be joined by the seats behind us; then behind them etc etc. A fantastic way to end the coach part of the tour… and somehow, one of the girls right behind me slept through the whole performance!!!

11. Elton John Crocodile Rock
I remember when rock was young; Me and Susie had so much fun…
My last Northern Loop was supposed to be one of those where you reminisce about Northern Loops past and mentally prepare myself for the fact I probably wouldn’t be doing this again. Fat chance – heading up to Paris for the last time I had young Tubs to Stuttgart then met young Laura for the first time. Naturally, we ended up having a bit of a chat on the way.. that lasted till Berlin! In Amsterdam I showed her footage of the Muppets and Elton John singing this song – after that it kinda became a theme song!

12. Frank Sinatra My Way
I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried; I’ve had my fill, my share of losing; And now, as tears subside; I find it all so amusing…
Last time through Greece, karaoke at Fun Pub, Pants makes the suggestion. I get up to sing, Kaeti and Pants grab the sparklers and wave them in tune! A sight I’ll never forget to a song that sums it up. Thanks to everyone; the last four years have been a blast!

Hello Computer...

SO I'm going to assume that since you've made it to this blog you've all heard of the Great Wall of China, yeah?
Working from there, I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say that around 98% of you know about the Great Barrier Reef in Australia.
We're then going to take a great leap forward and make mention of the Great Firewall of China as well - you know, the one that doesn't let you look at anything the Chinese Government doesn't want you to. For all the advancements the People's Republic of China has made economically in the last 20 years, their modern-day version of an ancient wonder is a reminder that people there don't enjoy the same freedoms most in the Western world do.
Here in Australia, it seems as though the Federal Government has also decided to remake an old classic, with the announcement yesterday that their controversial Internet censorship plan will go ahead after recent trials.
Now this plan in theory isn't a bad idea; certainly the premise behind it - to keep people from accessing materials they shouldn't, including child pornography - is worthy. Anyone found downloading these kinds of things should be taken out in the street, paraded in the stocks, put on the racks, hung, drawn, quartered... and whatever else the CIA uses down in their Cuban outpost before watching their heart being torn out from their chest.
The problem with this kind of technology is that hackers and degenerates have a habit of being a step or 36 ahead of even the most advanced government. While this doesn't mean that governments should give up trying to stop this despicable trade, their focus would be better spent on advanced detection techniques.
The other concern with this Australian proposal is the potential for perfectly legal websites to to blacklisted. Earlier this year reports came out that the potential "blacklist" contained Wikipedia entries, Christian websites and a Queensland dentist. How long before other websites are caught up in this "safety net"?
It's been suggested that the project will allow children to surf the net without coming across any of those naughty pictures that probably make up around 66.6% of Internet content, although there is a much easier way of stopping this. It's wild, crazy, and could take a while to fully kick in, but here goes...
HAVE PARENTS SUPERVISE THEIR CHILDREN ON THE WEB!!!!!!
Now I know this may go against the whole "it's someone else's fault and they should do something about it" variation of modern parenting that apparently has taken over, but surely to goodness if parents are watching what their kids are looking at, there wouldn't be a need for the Government to do what Frankie Goes To Hollywood do here and ruin one of the great originals with an un-needed and unwanted remake.

TOM!!!

WATCHING VH1's Top 50 film soundtracks (I'm not proud, I'm unemployed) today brought home a very interesting point.
It wasn't how Mental As Anything's Rock and Roll Music managed to make it into the countdown and yet Dave Dobbyn's Slice of Heaven (the alternative New Zealand national anthem) at the time of writing hasn't, but rather how many songs were from Tom Cruise films.
Seriously, think about it. The Beach Boys Kokomo from the movie Cocktail; Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone and Berlin's Take My Breath Away from Top Gun; and even Bruce Springsteen's Secret Garden from Jerry Maguire.
Could explain the success of Cruise's earlier films: they weren't just there to watch the little man act, but to be the first to hear the summer's hottest hits. Think Video Hits with something resembling a plot.
It all becomes clear...

PS Up to number 8 with John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John in the Grease Megamix (if I hve to tell you the movie you shouldn't be allowed on the internet without parental supervision), and realised no Blues Brothers either. Who makes these charts?!?

PPS Number 7 Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On. Why would you do that? Why?!?

PPPS Number 6 is beloved of females everywhere, Time Of My Life from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. I'll let that go through to the keeper.

PPPPS Number 5 is alive - Eminem's Lose Yourself from the 8-Mile soundtrack. Egads! A recent track that isn't a f&%king ballad!

PPPPPS Wet Wet Wet with their shyte shyte shyte song from Four Weddings and a Funeral: Love Is All Around. The dishes need doing, yet I can't turn away...

PPPPPPS The later version of Lady Marmalade from the Moulin Rouge movie. Yeah, ok.

PPPPPPPS Number 2 is a pile of the same, with Whitney Houston's I Will Always Love You, that sappy piece of rubbish from The Bodyguard that sat interminably at the top of ABC's Rage for goodness knows how many weeks when just about anything else would have done.

PPPPPPPPS The moment precisely no one's been waiting for: the number 1 film soundtrack song as voted by VH1. Right. Well. I'd tell you, but I've been working so hard, I'm punching my card and doing the dishes. Footloose. WHERE WERE THE BLUES BROTHERS?!?