With humblest apologies to Billy Joel...
The regulars drunks shuffle in
There's an Irishman standing next to me
Smells like he's been hitting the gin
He says "mate can I get on the internet?
I'm going to go talk with mammy
Tell her I'm fine, drinking shitloads of wine
But in the morn I'll be feeling shabby"
La la la didi da da
Lala didi da da daaaaa
Please let me in Mr Hostel Man
Please let me in tonight
I need to go lay down for a little bit
Because I'm not really feeling alright
Now the girls at the bar, they are friends of mine
Still won't give me my drinks for free
But they're quick with a joke, and my bourbon and coke
And there's no place that they'd rather be
They say "man, that strange guy, I sure he's stalking me"
As the smile runs away from their face
"I think that I might call the bouncers across
So he can get out of this place"
La la la didi da da
Lala didi da da daaaaa
Now Paul is a local long-termer
Who's not really looking for a wife
And he's talking with Tony, who can be a phony
Next time in jail, it's probably for life
And there's guests shagging in the tv room
A drunk man gives the dog a bone
And it doesn't matter when I tell them to go
They're back at it when they're back alone
Please let us be Mr Hostel Man
Please let us be tonight
I haven't had sex in over six months
And now this is feeling alright
It's a rowdy old crowd on this Saturday
The bar manager gives me a smile
Coz this revelry pays for my salary
While they forget about life for a while
And the reception it sounds like a carnival
And all the guests, well they smell like a beer
And they come to the counter for support or they'll flounder
And say "Man, what are YOU doing here?"
La la la didi da da
Lala didi da da daaaaa
Please let me in Mr Hostel Man
Please let me in tonight
Me sweetheart's upstairs, how can you not care
I'm need to see that's she's feeling alright...
