Watch your names

It’s probably fair to say that none too many people have read a book written by someone in an end-of-year music chart and laughed quite considerably.
It’s probably fair to say none too many people have read a book by a music charter full-stop. By and large the only thing I want to read by a performer is a songbook with music and lyrics.
But while idly perusing through the end-of-year ARIA charts I happened across number 21 for 1988, a little ditty called "Stutter Rap" by Morris Minor and the Majors.
If you haven’t heard of this song before, don’t despair. I’d only heard of it for the first time when Morris Minor, aka Tony Hawks, released a book called "One Hit Wonderland".
Tony Hawks is a Pom (Englishmen for those who prefer proper terms), and has written three books, all about bets. "One Hit Wonderland" involves a bet he made to get a top-20 single anywhere in the world. "Round Ireland With A Fridge" details how Tony went around Ireland with a fridge (a 100 pound bet), while "Playing the Moldavans At Tennis" examines the difficulties involved in trying to play a national soccer team at tennis.
Now some of you may be thinking the name Tony Hawks is familiar - doesn’t one of the kids idolise him? A quick check with the nearest "with-it" kid may find that name is one used by a professional skate-boarder. If so, beat the kid over the head with a large object (cricket bats are my personal favourite) and tell them they are wrong.
You see, one of the funniest parts of Tony Hawks website is when he replies to people who think he is Tony Hawk, professional skateboarder. Lots of unfortunates write to Tony Hawks asking for tips. Messer Hawks gives these two for starters:
Don't stand downwind of flatulent people, and try not to get involved in leapfrogging unicorns.
True words if ever I’ve heard them.
Thinking that people who read books were more intelligent than kid skateboarders, I e-mailed the web people for Tony Hawk and asked if they’d heard of the author. They said they had, and yes, they did get e-mails for him.
So what’s the bloody point? Check names before you write/talk etc peoples. You may get severely embarrassed by a smart-arse author.

The e-mails and their replies can be found at http://www.tony-hawks.com/skatemail.php.

And for those who don't give a rats, I've now changed jobs to be a sports writer. This means I can now quite legitimately look up Inside Sport and claim it's expanding my knowledge and understanding of the world around me.