Your Instinct Can't Be Wrong...

So I've sold my soul to the devil and actually watched part of So You Think You Can Dance Australia on the idiot box a couple of times now. I'm not proud: on one occasion I was over a mate's place; tonight it's because Old Man River decided to change over to it (between you and me, I think he's going through that Mid-Life thing).

I've also watched more than one episode of Australian Idol, which under today's standards leaves me fully qualified as a social commentator. Somehow I doubt this would pass close scrutiny, but something about both shows has struck me.

Now I'm a sports fan first and foremost. Like former US Chief Justice Earl Warren, I always turn to the sports pages first: "the sports section records people's accomplishments; the front pages nothing but man's failures".

My sport of choice is cricket, a game that caters to pretty much everyone. You have the option of following the classical techniques (McGrath, Lillee, Hadlee, Warne et al) or the unconventional (Muralitharan, Mitchell Johnson, Malinga). And that's just the bowlers.

Thing is though, ask a knowledgable cricket fan who they'd really like to watch, and they'll probably tell you Johnson or Murali bowling to Afridi or McCullum. What do these four have in common? They're all instinctive players.

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but what Dance and Idol seem to lack are instinctive performers.

Make no mistake: technically, these guys are brilliant. The control these guys/girls have over their bodies/voices is nothing short of amazing. To consistently do what they do takes years of training that allows them to do things the rest of us can only sit there and dream of doing.

But...

It's a potential thing. I'd rather watch Johnson and Afridi take risks on the off that it leads to something special; likewise, I'd like to see performers take a risk on the chance that its leads to something unforgettable. Better that than play it safe for something that you remember for whole minutes.

Unfortunately Dance and Idol's formats don't lend themselves to this kind of risk-taking: wouldn't it be compelling viewing if they did?

Ridin' Along On My Bicycle Honey...

I'VE spent a lot of time on the road.

Lots of time.

I mean seriously, an absolute truckload of time. And we're not just talking about the past four years tootling around the world on a variety of coaches/buses, chalking up kilometres the way Tiger Woods chalks up notches in the bedpost; but also a childhood spent travelling the east coast of Australia, sitting in the back of whatever car we had, trying not to kill three younger siblings who felt it necessary to invade my part of the seat.

One thing we always had during this family "together" time though was music. For all those who've had to put up with the best of Elton John, Billy Joel and Paul Simon during European road adventures, blame my father: and in particular his mix tapes.

So, in the interests of absolutely no one in particular, I present to you my five greatest (for the minute) driving songs of all time (or until I change my mind)!!!

5. Chris Isaak Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

You ever love someone so much you thought your little heart would break in two? I didn't thinks so...

Imagine driving down a deserted freeway. The lights of the city begin to blur as you push down hard on the accelerator, leaving what haunted you deep in the past... until this song comes on the radio; Isaak's howling matching the mood as you drive away into the night...

4. Jimmy Barnes Driving Wheels

Well he's following the broken lines; Living on borrowed time; Motel rooms and broken hearts all left behind...

If someone ever decided to run a series with a long-haul truck-driving lead, they wouldn't need to worry about composing a theme song. They'd probably want to come up with some drama though. Reckon it'd be pretty boring watching half an hour's worth of man driving a truck, Waylon Jennings on the radio, country music and the engine's roar. Maybe they'd have him (or her - now there's a thought) meeting their significant others in Shitville, South Australia, but any efforts to get them to stay are thwarted because only the road can tame the rebel in their soul. Reckon they'd go for it in Alabama.

3. Dire Straits Telegraph Road

A long time ago came a man on a track; Walking thirty miles with a pack on his back...

What makes this such a great driving song isn't the fact that it tells the life story of a town, nor the fact that you could imagine the lyrics describing a town springing up in any deserted area you happen to be driving through: what makes this song such a great driving song is the fact that it starts softly, slowly sucks you in, then spits you out just over 14 minutes and 23km later.

2. The Whitlams Tangled Up In Blue

Early one morning the sun was shining, I was lying in bed; wondering if she had changed at all, if her hair was still red...

Dylan did the original; these guys upped it a notch. Although only 5:40 worth of Whitlamy goodness, it's still another track that drags you in kicking and screaming before leaving you wondering just where the protagonist's life will take him - and where he'll next meet his lady friend.

1. Bruce Springsteen Born To Run

In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream; At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines...

If ever there was a song that you'd play when leaving town to escape... something, this is it. Anyone's who's been trapped somewhere would know all about the feelings this song invokes; all could relate to the basic theme. This is the song that will be playing when I give you (and you know who you are) that ten-minute warning that I'm coming around, and your bags better be packed and you'd better be ready to go Anywhere, Earth, because tramps like us, baby we were born to run!!!