God Save The Future Queen...

I SEE that Denmark's Princess Mary has had a baby girl.
By all accounts it sounds like mother and daughter are doing well, while Prince Frederik is reported to be delighted with the addition to his family. Certainly, he's managed to get one of each a lot quicker than it took Mum, who finally got a baby girl on the sixth attempt.
But as my cousin Aaron pointed out, neither of us was actually aware of the fact that Mary was even pregnant. We put this down to being in England, where they don't feel the need to report on Mary's every bowel movement because she was born and bred in Tasmania.
Of course the reason for this is that England have their very own royal family to write reports about every time they have a bowel movement.
The major target of these reporters/photographers was of course Princess Diana. They "reported" on pretty much every that happened in her life, eventually driving her driver up to and into the wall, which then proved that seatbelts are a lot more than a fashion statement.
After that little escapade things quietened down a bit, only to increase as Princes William and Harry hit drinking age and starting to muck about in pubs and clubs.
There's a shock - young men drinking and acting the fool. Never seen anything like that before...
First up Harry copped a bit for acting the Hooray Henry (or Harry) and laying into paparazzi when they lay in wait for him after a big night out. That and dressing as a Nazi stormtrooper at a fancy-dress party.
Meanwhile old Bill's been copping it as well. In recent times he's been photographed groping the breast of a Brazilian in a posed photo (she wasn't aware until she saw the photo), and took a girl back to barracks. Admittedly, this was because he had a girlfriend back home who wasn't particularly impressed.
And now the two are no longer an item. Again, two people in their mid-twenties breaking up is about as shocking as a politician saying they need to raise taxes or that he was very sorry for getting drunk and doing something silly.
But no, this came as a massive shock to the royal reporters, many of whom had tipped an engagement by the end of the year. One company even designed a series of commemorative souvenirs to flog the instant an announcement was made.
Evidently the breakup was such a newsworthy event that half the Amazon rainforest was cut down and converted to newsprint to analyse why it went wrong.
Why they would do this is completely beyond me. By all accounts Will has a pretty good head on his shoulders, and he's acutely aware of the fact that any future bride is going to have to go through a hell of a lot from the media.
And let's face it, who wants to go through that in their mid-twenties?