The A-Z Of 2005...

WELL folks, that's 2005 nearly over, with not a great deal happening in the world.
Actually, I'm lying like a politician just before an election: apart years where there were additions or subractions to the family, 2005 has been easily the most memorable out of the 25 that the world has had to put up with my presence.
There were trips overseas, job-quittings, rumours, disputes, drinking, movie-themes, searches for people in strange places, drinking, cricket, trains, planes, automobiles, drinking, stalkers, South American mating movements, budgie-smugglers, drinking, topless women, drinking, internet follies and drinking.
Might have been some drinking in there somewhere as well.
Anyway, in honour of the year, I've put together the A-Z of 2005.

A is for Ashes, Australia losing the.
I admit, it had to happen eventually. Australia held the Ashes since 1989, and had rarely looked like giving them back ever since. England had been steadily improving, but weren't expected to win them back.
Until I visited England that is.
We won't go into too much detail, but needless to say the ribbing I copped while over there wasn't what I was expecting as Australia's batsmen all decided it was a good time to stop scoring runs.
A special thanks as well to the MCC media person, who only answered enquiries about my media pass application for the First Test the day before, despite getting the application in on time.

B is for Batting, try to hit the winning runs while.
It's every cricketer's dream: the last ball of the match, one run to win and you on strike. The field is in, but there's nobody back for the straight hit over the top, so why not try that eh?
The fielders are all on their toes as the bowler comes in and releases the ball. The batsman (me) takes a few steps down the pitch, takes an almighty swing... and hits it straight back to the bowler, who then takes the bails off for a tie. Got pissed that night anyway.

C is for Cooma, Canadians and clubs.
After nearly two years in town, I've now left Cooma. I'd like to say there's nothing but happy memories there, and while I will cherish some of the friendships I made, I can't say that it was all peaches and cream. One of the strangest things was that while I got the respect of most the community, I couldn't say that about the people I worked with.
Along with Australians, Canadians would have to have been the most represented group of people I met while travelling. Despite the fact they get a bit of stick from Americans, I reckon they've got to be one of the friendliest groups of people going around, even if they do say "aboot". And just like Australians, they all seemed to come from one or two places: Toronto or British Columbia, although I did meet two girls from country Saskatchewan. True story.
Finally to clubs, which I hereby declare I loathe.When it comes to going somewhere for a night out, just give me some of that rock 'n' roll music, any old way you choose it, gotta back beat you can't lose it, any old time you use it, gotta be rock 'n' roll music, if you want to dance with me.

D is for Dave.
They reckon you haven't had a night out in Australia unless it involves some kind of drunken story with a bloke named Dave. I know of at least two girls who definitely had that, although whether they'd be wanting to repeat the dose is doubtful.

E is for Elegance.
Something rather lacking after pretty much any big night out.

F is for Friendships.
Those who travel get to make lots and lots of different friends: even one as socially inept as yours truly. It's part of the reason some people never stop travelling, but more importantly, it enriches your life to no end. So to all my new friends from this year (and the old ones for that matter), I raise a glass in salute.

G is for Great Barrier Reef, The.
One glaring omission from my life experiences was cut the other day when I went scuba-diving on the Great Barrier Reef. We went out to the outer reef: so far out in fact that you could see the waves breaking on the very far edge. The light was poor, it was raining and the ride out was hairy to say the least, but I tell you what, it's worth every cent.

H is for Hamish.
During the year some of you may have noticed certain abusive sentences about a certain New Zealander who thinks he's a Pom. Every time Australia lost at something (and gosh, didn't we lose at a lot of things this year?) Hamish would be first in with a text message. Given this year was so shit sporting-wise, I reckon I'll have plenty back at him next year...

I is for Iceland, girls from.
In Venice a group of us sat around, singing songs while someone played guitar (as usual I was looked on to provide most of the lyrics). There were a group of girls from Iceland there as well, stunningly beautiful in the Northern European way. One of them told me everyone should go out with an Icelandic girl once because they took all the beautiful people from Ireland. I said she should go out with an Australian male once because we're at home Down Under. She left after that.

J is for Jumping for balls.
During the trip I played in two sand sports, scoring the most goals in beach soccer at Venice and jumping around like a kangaroo on cocaine during beach volleyball in Ireland. It was during the second one that one jump came off wrongly: I tripped as I went to dive, and didn't just fall on level sand but into a hole thoughtfully dug earlier seemingly for that very purpose. Got out ok, and still lost the match to a team that included a couple of Kiwis (when will the humiliation stop?!?)

K is for Kissing in dorms.
There's nothing worse than hearing a couple going at it when you're trying to sleep; unless of course you've picked up yourself.

L is for Lying, Lord's and London.
Actually, the only thing worse than that is when someone lies to blame someone else for their own actions.
Lord's is considered the home of cricket, and as such was the only place I just had to go to during my time overseas. That it is in London was a bonus, which also happens to contain a few backpacker pubs where there was much drinking, or in one person's case, chucking on the floor of a dorm in a hostel we weren't even staying in.

M is for Man-Whore.
Davo, Matt and Braddles are the other members of this exclusive Port Douglas community. Members can be found by greeting each other with "Davo. Man-Whore." etc etc.

N is for No way I'm doing that.
Of course we nearly always did.

O is for Oh my goodness I can't believe he just did that.
Whether it was impersonating Steve Irwin to try and pick up, trying to hustle money while playing pool or dancing in just a g-string, everything was pretty much covered (not all by me I must add).

P is for Pub crawls.
And didn't everyone get completely f*cked up on those?

Q is for Questioning looks.
Especially when you fail to take heed of welcoming looks from members of the opposite sex.

R is for Rome.
Some people think of Romans, really old buildings and the Roman Catholic Church when they think of Rome; I think of a crap karaoke competition, cheap beer and a small set of speakers. Not to mention worrying the hell out of the entertainment coordinator who thought I hated him.

S is for Searching.
But not in the way you may think. In Prague I was talking to Susan and some Danish students when Yeliz went missing. Two hours and a massive search later we still hadn't found her, so I crashed in Susan's dorm, waking up when Yeliz made it back (and was met with an impressive bitchkreig). Meanwhile back at my hostel Tash had begun her own search after I didn't come back with everyone else. All ended well.

T is for Teasing.
How to get guys offside in four easy steps. Step one: find a good-looking guy. Step two: hit onto him. Step three: dance suggestively and play ten rounds of tonsil hockey. Step four: drop him cold. Saying that men do it is no excuse either peoples.

U is for Unknown.
Which is pretty much what Europe was until this year.

V is for Venice.
Home of canals, romance, beach soccer and toga parties, even if I missed the toga parties.

W is for Wales.
Went with Hamish to Cardiff to watch the Wales vs New Zealand rugby match. The Kiwis won (dammit!), but most memorable was the Welsh singing before the game, and the Welsh people who kept buying me pints of Guinness even though I was less than halfway through the previous one. Spent the train trip back asleep in the toilet.

X is for X-ray vision, people wishing they had.
Although why people would want to see other people's skeletal structures is beyond me.

Y is for Yellow.
As you can see I'm running out of things to say, which brings me to...

Z is for Zzzzzzzzz....
Although I'm hoping I haven't sent you to sleep.

Anyway, hope you've had a top 2005, and here's hoping everyone has a sensatioanl 2006.