It Ain't Over 'Till It's Over...

AND yes, after nearly five years in what can best be described as cold conditions, my Southern Sojourn to Canberra and Cooma is now at an end.
It doesn't seem all that long ago that we loaded the old Pug, tidied up the insane mess of papers and the like that masqueraded as my bedroom of the time, and left the bright lights of Bris Vegas for the cold of the nation's capital.
I headed south in 2001 to study Sports Media at the University of Canberra (the only place in the country that it's offered) with the full intention of getting work back in Brisbane in 2004. Fate stepped in, and in late August 2003 I began working at the Cooma-Monaro Express (the Distress to its friends), where I remained until heading overseas in May this year.
Once overseas it was obvious I wouldn't be going back to Cooma, although this knowledge didn't make it any easier to say goodbye to friends in Cooma. I didn't get the chance to get to friends in Canberra: rest assured though I will visit before I go back o/s.
Life down south was tough: I lived in four different places in two and a half years in Canberra; while Cooma brought its own challenges to someone reared in the big smoke. All these things though brought about a much more rounded me, and one slightly more tolerable (but just as messy).
At any rate, here are some of the highlights of Stuart's Southern Sojourn.

Canberra = Brisbane Lions premierships
For those trying to figure out how that worked, it's fairly simple: the three years I was down in Canberra (2001-2003), the Brisbane Lions won AFL premierships.
The first was perhaps the most memorable. Cagey and I had driven down to Melbourne for reasons lost in the mist of time, and watched the game on the big screen at the Crown Casino. I got talking to two Carlton fans who were both going for Brisbane (on account of us playing Essendon), and sledged the little old Essendon fan sitting in front of me. That night we went out to a pub near Lygon Street (Pug's, I believe it's called), possibly watched Australian Idol finalist Millsy sing (this was before Idol), and ended up yelling very loudly at a security guard that we'd finally won. He smiled and let me stay, which was rather nice.
I spent the second flag sitting on the floor with my then flatmate, cursing some dodgy umpiring decisions that seemed to keep Collingwood in the match. The good guys prevailed eventually, then came out and slaughtered Collingwood in the 2003 decider after being written off beforehand. I got written off during this match though, and ended up stealing a wheelie-bin to break into the place I was staying after the other bloke hooked up with some chick.

Personal sporting premierships
Until moving to Canberra my out of school sporting activities were limited to one season of indoor cricket as a child. This multiplied somewhat down south: four seasons of cricket, two of Aussie rules football, four in total of mixed netball, three in total of indoor cricket, three of oztag and three of indoor soccer (mixed and male).
The first premiership (and indeed my first) was in the first season of indoor cricket in Canberra. We had a shit-hot side, with an old pro in Richard, a man with Gadget arms in Bort, a handy all-rounder and good leader in Honks, and just a bloody good all-round cricketer in Blaise. I bowled right-arm leg-spin around the wicket, generally getting people stumped when they came forward and missed the ball.
We lost our trial games convincingly, then came out and only lost one game all season before taking the premiership. It was a great team with everyone enjoying themselves immensly.
Down in Cooma we won a B-grade mixed netball comp, as well as three consecutive mixed indoor soccer finals. Jason and I were the only two to play in all three grand finals, and both of us contributed. We won the first easily, but came close to oblivion in the semi-final in the second season when the opposition's striker unleashed a thunderbolt. If it went in we were two down with a few minutes to go: instead the ball hit my arm and we ended up winning. It was a similar story in the third final, with me in goals and Jason up front setting up the win.

On the grog
We did some strange things on the grog. Those there will remember a karaoke night at the West Belconnen Leagues Club where we all got smashed. To make matters interesting there was precisely one attractive girl: at one stage Ivan was trying to chat her up when Cagey literally pushed him out of the way before beginning his own chatting.
There were some interesting nights with the ladies as well. Cagey missed out in Melbourne when we rebuffed the advances of the girl rubbing her arse against his groin, while I did a pretty good impersonation of a rabbit in the headlights one night in Canberra when I spotted a ring on the wedding finger of the girl hitting onto me. Turned out she was on the rags anyway.
Perhaps the best story from a night out though was one night at King O'Malley's in Canberra. I was out with Blaiser and the Cagey, with the latter two mentioning the same girl over and over again. After Cagey left (coincidence? maybe...) two of the girl's friends came over to chat to us other two, before one of them tag-teamed with the original soon after.
End result? Blaise and Kirsti are now happily married after a beautiful wedding in Brisbane. Not that Cagey and I were totally appreciative after Cagey won at the casino the night before. Mum had to drag us home about 3am the day of the wedding after we'd told her we'd be out for a while longer.

There's more to it than that, but I can't possibly include everything. If there's something stupid we did, why not post a comment and let the world know; otherwise, have fun, and see y'all next post.

Oh the pain, oh the igonomy...

ALRIGHT, let's get this over with quickly.
England have won the Ashes series for the first time in donkey's years, defeating Australia 2-1 after a draw in the Fifth Test at The Oval in London. Kevin Pietersen anchored England's second innings with his maiden Test century, scoring 158 to keep Australia's bowlers at bay.
Ok, that much you should all know already.
Seriously though, what can we take out of this series? More to the point, what can we take out of it that hasn't already been done to death in the papers?

This is truly the age of marketing men
After England held their nerve (just) in the Second Test to win by 2 runs, the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) immediately put out a DVD called "The Greatest Test".
The Greatest Test?!?
Sure, this was a good, nay, great Test match. Australia were gone for all money at stumps on day 3, 8/175 chasing 282 with just Shane Warne, Brett Lee and Michael Kasprowicz standing between England and a series-levelling victory. It's history now that this unlikely threesome got Australia within 3 runs of victory, only to be denied by a stunning Geraint Jones catch off Kasprowicz.
But The Greatest Test? Surely either of the two Tied Tests would have to come into consideration. The Second Tied Test - India vs Australia at Madras in September 1986 - finished with Greg Matthews taking the last Indian wicket with the second-last ball of the match. Matthews took 10 wickets for the match while bowling in a sweater: lunacy when you consider that Dean Jones scored 210 before being taken to hospital and put on a saline drip.
And what about the First Tied Test between Australia and the West Indies at Brisbane in 1960/61? Australia weren't just gone: they were dead in the water at 6/92 chasing233. Yet somehow Richie Benaud and Alan Davidson dragged them to within striking range, only to be foiled courtesy of a Joe Solomon direct hit from side-on.
Therein lies the difference. Benaud and Davidson had to battle the clock to bring their team close; Warne, Lee and Kasprowicz had two days to make their runs. A brave fightback yes, but The Greatest Test? I think not.

There has to be a middle ground
When Andrew Flintoff began hitting out later in the series, Australia seemed to have one plan: spread the field. Come to think of it, they tended to do that as soon as he got in.
Compare this to what happened every time Adam Gilchrist came in. England captain Michael Vaughan kept an attacking field, meaning that if Gilchrist stuffed up early on - as most batsmen do - there were fielders waiting for the edges. Even when Gilchrist hit a few fours, Vaughan kept an attacking field. End result? Geraint Jones scored more runs than the Australian number 7.

Swingers are back
Not the Austin Powers style - although he'd have been stoked with the result - but the Simon Jones and Matthew Hoggard style. Throughout this series the English bowlers (and to the same extent Shane Warne) have shown that a moving ball will cause all kinds of problems for batsmen, no matter how good they are.
The last true Australian swinger was Damien Fleming, and despite being injured a hell of a lot and bowling in allegedly hostile swing conditions, he still took 75 wickets in 20 Tests at an average of just under 26. England's success shows that a good swing bowler adds a lot to your attack: especially if the conditions are right.

They're my thoughts anyway. Again, well played England: let's hope other Test series can match this one for sustained intensity.