Ridin' Along On My Bicycle Honey...

I'VE spent a lot of time on the road.

Lots of time.

I mean seriously, an absolute truckload of time. And we're not just talking about the past four years tootling around the world on a variety of coaches/buses, chalking up kilometres the way Tiger Woods chalks up notches in the bedpost; but also a childhood spent travelling the east coast of Australia, sitting in the back of whatever car we had, trying not to kill three younger siblings who felt it necessary to invade my part of the seat.

One thing we always had during this family "together" time though was music. For all those who've had to put up with the best of Elton John, Billy Joel and Paul Simon during European road adventures, blame my father: and in particular his mix tapes.

So, in the interests of absolutely no one in particular, I present to you my five greatest (for the minute) driving songs of all time (or until I change my mind)!!!

5. Chris Isaak Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing

You ever love someone so much you thought your little heart would break in two? I didn't thinks so...

Imagine driving down a deserted freeway. The lights of the city begin to blur as you push down hard on the accelerator, leaving what haunted you deep in the past... until this song comes on the radio; Isaak's howling matching the mood as you drive away into the night...

4. Jimmy Barnes Driving Wheels

Well he's following the broken lines; Living on borrowed time; Motel rooms and broken hearts all left behind...

If someone ever decided to run a series with a long-haul truck-driving lead, they wouldn't need to worry about composing a theme song. They'd probably want to come up with some drama though. Reckon it'd be pretty boring watching half an hour's worth of man driving a truck, Waylon Jennings on the radio, country music and the engine's roar. Maybe they'd have him (or her - now there's a thought) meeting their significant others in Shitville, South Australia, but any efforts to get them to stay are thwarted because only the road can tame the rebel in their soul. Reckon they'd go for it in Alabama.

3. Dire Straits Telegraph Road

A long time ago came a man on a track; Walking thirty miles with a pack on his back...

What makes this such a great driving song isn't the fact that it tells the life story of a town, nor the fact that you could imagine the lyrics describing a town springing up in any deserted area you happen to be driving through: what makes this song such a great driving song is the fact that it starts softly, slowly sucks you in, then spits you out just over 14 minutes and 23km later.

2. The Whitlams Tangled Up In Blue

Early one morning the sun was shining, I was lying in bed; wondering if she had changed at all, if her hair was still red...

Dylan did the original; these guys upped it a notch. Although only 5:40 worth of Whitlamy goodness, it's still another track that drags you in kicking and screaming before leaving you wondering just where the protagonist's life will take him - and where he'll next meet his lady friend.

1. Bruce Springsteen Born To Run

In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream; At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines...

If ever there was a song that you'd play when leaving town to escape... something, this is it. Anyone's who's been trapped somewhere would know all about the feelings this song invokes; all could relate to the basic theme. This is the song that will be playing when I give you (and you know who you are) that ten-minute warning that I'm coming around, and your bags better be packed and you'd better be ready to go Anywhere, Earth, because tramps like us, baby we were born to run!!!

Is Australia racist?

IT'S the question that comes up every few years or so. Events in Australia seem to show a dangerous undercurrent of racism that pundits here and abroad are quick to comment on. In recent times this has ranged from a spate of attacks on Indian students (especially in Melbourne), to a drunken idiot of a spectator crash-tackling Pakistan cricketer Khalid Latif during a One-Day International in Perth.
Certainly Australia's history seems to be held against it. Australia's indigenous population went down from an estimated minimum of 315,000 to just 93,000; in part due to the effects of diseases such as smallpox for which they had no natural immunity to, but also due to the Australian Frontier Wars, which killed an estimated 20,000 indigenous people (compared to around 2000 European deaths). Indigenous Tasmanians suffered the worst, wiped out so effectively that some historians consider it an act of genocide. Indeed, it wasn't until a 1967 referendum that Indigenous Australians were counted in the national census.
Sadly, this wasn't the extent of early Australian racism. During the gold rushes opf the mid-1800s Asian prospectors were often resented for their work ethic and their habit of working together, as opposed to the European custom of working alone or in small groups. This resentment eventually got so bad in the goldfields of Burrangong that on 30 June 1861 a group of around 3000 Europeans drove the Chinese off the goldfields, destroying their camps. This followed a series of anti-Chinese attacks on other goldfield scattered around the country.
Possibly though the pinnacle of Australian racism was the Immigration Restriction act of 1901. This was one of the first pieces of legislation passed by the first Australian Government after Federation in 1901; designed to keep "undesirables" (Indians and Eastern Asians) out, it gave immigration officers the power to ask potential immigrants to complete a dictation test in any European language they chose (later expanded to any language). This test backfired rather badly in 1934 when Czech-born Jewish Communist Egon Kisch passed the test in a number of European languages before coming unstuck when the immgration officer asked him to write down the Lord's Prayer in Scottish Gaelic; a task the immigration officer wasn't able to do himself.

SO THAT was then; what about now? After World War II the Australian Government embarked on a scheme to help populate Australia after fears that the relatively low pre-WWII population would make possible invasion easier. By 1955 the one millionth post-war immigrant arrived in Australia; while in 1949 work began on the Snowy Mountains Scheme, a project that involved workers from over 30 different countries, a fact commemorated in the town of Cooma with the Avenue of Flags. Indeed, the story of the Snowy Mountains Scheme is one of remarkable tolerance given that many involved were fighting each other during WWII.

Later years saw further positive changes, with Aboriginals finally given the vote in 1962 before a 1967 referendum to include Indigenous Australians in the census and allow the Federal Government to make laws for Indigenous people was endorsed by over 90% of voters. The 1970s also saw mass Asian immigration after the Whitlam Government scrapped the White Australia policy.

In more recent times Australia has had the unfortunate spectacle (if that's the word) of the 2005 Cronulla riots, where people of Middle Eastern appearance were attacked by an angry mob that had initially gathered peacefully. A few years earlier right-wing politician Pauline Hanson's maiden speech to Parliament (see page 47) warned of the dangers of multiculturalism; while the current attacks on Indians don't seem to suggest that much has changed in 200 years.

But still...

In this article published by the Sydney Morning Herald, Gerard Henderson suggests there are two ways of testing racism in a country: ethnic crime and intermarriage. Colloquial evidence would suggest low levels of the first and higher levels of the second; indeed, I can only think of one case of parental disapproval due to a partner's race - which says everything about the person involved.

SO WHAT is it then? Are Australians, by nature, racist?

Let's not kid ourselves: there is racism in Australia, just as there is racism everywhere else in the world. Perhaps Australia's location away from pretty much everyone doesn't help: how many Australians actually experience other cultures compared to, say, Europeans; while how much does the rest of the world know about Australian culture outside of Neighbours and Home and Away? Having worked with international tourist both in Australia and abroad, I can personally vouch that Australians aren't the only ones with the "it's not like this back home" mentality.

But perhaps though the final word should go to a man who makes no secret of his love for Australia. In his book Downunder author Bill Bryson retells the story of a post-war immigrant who went to the police station after arriving to register his presence. The officer stepped out from behind the desk, but instead of striking the new immigrant, put out his hand and welcomed him to the country.

Doesn't sound very racist to me.